A blog by specially trained mountain llama's.

Another day in purgatory

2006-11-16T19:18:00.000+01:00

''Damn!'' thought God ''I thought you couldn't make out her face that well in Anal explosion 6''

One day in purgatory

2006-11-16T18:49:00.000+01:00

Hey!
Check out the new comic, this isn't what I was on about earlier, that idea has been delayed due to ..ehm.. technical difficulties, kinda.

Anyway this comic is called 'one day in purgatory' I plan to do a few more.

The State

2006-11-06T20:43:00.000+01:00

Below are some theses in which, in my eyes, the perfect state is described. Similar to Machiavelli’s 'The Prince', but from a modern point of view. I personally think that, although hard to -if not impossible- to achieve, a State that would act and function like this, should be the best. It's not ethical. There is no left- or right-wing propaganda. It's how it should work.

Only those who are interested in (and understand politics) should be allowed to vote.
Not by education, but by common sense, interest and understanding should people be allowed to vote.
This because among the 'intellectual elite' there is still a large number without any political insight, while the 'lower classes' does contain individuals who have these qualities.
People with the required knowledge and understanding of politics are the ones that can make proper decisions and can see the ideologies/proposals of the political parties with proper and careful consideration.
People who do not have these qualities are those who can fall victim to demagogy.
States governed by demagogs are destined to fall or end in failure, ruining the state to san unpredictable extent.
Those who do not obtain the right to vote are able to educate themselves in politicology and gain the required insight in the mechanics of politics. They should also be willing to participate in politics to a certain level. There should be no requirement of education to vote.
Democracy will not be replaced by a broad aristocracy, as there will not be a 'governing elite', for every individual can obtain the privilege to vote.
In such a system, democracy will function more efficiently and be fairer then even the famous 'fair' democracy of Ancient Athens.
All 'items of agenda' of a political party should be reasonable and realistic. Wild prophecies and hollow claims are signs of demagogy and will only lead to inefficient and false governments.
Political parties need to have a unique identity. There is no need for dozens of left-wing parties who have only slight differences.
If this is the case, those parties should merge and should take care of the slight differences internally.
This is because countless of small fractions do not further the interests of the State and will only make the government less efficient.
A strong economy should not be sacrificed in the name of a socialist/left-wing government, just because it's part of the ideology, and not because of it's functionality.
Nor should basic social security be sacrificed in the name of liberal/right-wing government, just because it's part of the ideology, and not because of it's functionality.
Every person has the right to education and social security, but the social security should only guarantee a life that is humane. All costs of a individual's education should be cared for by the State.
This is not a gift however. A part has to be paid back to the State.
Because when the individual joins the labour market, he should pay a certain amount of money (parallel to his earnings) above his taxes to the state, as part of the loan.
The amount of money to be paid back for the education should depend on (A) salary of his current profession, (B) education the individual received. The higher and more costly, the education, the more the individual should pay back.
The money does not have to be paid back in a whole. This can be in terms. The terms depend on the years the individual studied and how costly the education was.
This is to ensure that the individual has a reasonable standard of living in the period he's paying off this 'government loan'.
Primary and Secondary School should be excluded from this system, and should be free and without any cost for all people.
Primary and Secondary School is mandatory. People who refuse any serious education beyond that point should not complain about the standard of living they receive from the State, if they remain jobless.
Schools carrying a Christian, Muslim, Jewish or any other kind of special signature should be forbidden and should all be public and uniform. Religious identity can be developed at home. This way stricter enforcement of the quality of education could be enforced.
People should not starve to death, or not receive proper medical care, so basic social security should be enforced. People are not equal however; those who aggressively pursue monetary wealth through trade or production should not be hindered by the same social security.
Those who do not need social security, medical care being the exception, will not receive it.
The economy should be stable and secure, for only with a stable economy can a strong government govern the State.
Therefore, certain compromises should be made when the economy seems to stumble. As long as basic social security remains enforced.
The political climate should remain stable, for only with a stable government can a strong economy be maintained.
The State's military should be powerful enough to defend its own territory and internal interests, but should never be strong enough or be used to conquer other states.
Wars are costly and destructive, and usually don't further the interests of the State.
Not only are they costly and destructive, wars will never succeed in keeping the support of the people, and therefore will cause political instability.
The military should only serve to maintain the State's interests.
Foreign politics should be only furthering the interests of the State.
Never should the State be subdued to an 'International Union' of any kind. This only increases the influence of the greater nation, and a powerful nation does not need an international body to influence other nations.
Economical Alliances on an international level are encouraged, but only if it serves the interests of the State.
Development aid given to Third World Countries should primarily serve to further the interests of the State.
If there is nothing to be gained for the State by aiding Third World Countries, the money be spend on development aid should be used internally.
The State should only participate in international military peacekeeping missions if it would maintain its political or economical interests.
Its foreign economic policies should also, always, further its own economy.
Exceptions to thesis 40 should be made as the Laws of the Free Market can sometimes oppose the interest of the State. International and economical relations should not be ruined by a single principle.
When the State has a monarchy, its power and influence should be absolutely nil.
Nor should it have any influence in politics or economics.
Monarchies can, however, add or define the State's identity and history and should therefore remain an active institution.
And last, but not least, the State is the embodiment of its people and should therefore always work to further its interest. It should however never contradict some of the theses stated above.

I'd like to thank Bastiaan Steffens and Robert Smit for their intelligent suggestions, thoughts and pointing out the theses that needed clarification. These 45 theses wouldn't have been the same without their help and advice. The ideal State would never have been as ideal without their help.

v1.1 - fixed some grammatical errors.

Ping!!

2006-09-29T07:53:00.000+02:00

Just posting to post something,
I've had a pretty good idea for a new webcomic. I still need to run it past the guys, but if I can get atleast one of 'em on my side I think we can get it off the ground. More details later.

The only diffirence between this one and the ones you've allready seen from Llama Blog is that this one ISN'T going to suck donkey balls!

Fuck yes. A comiX... kinda

2006-09-24T11:09:00.000+02:00

I kinda forgot about this. But hey, I forget about a lot of things.

Here's a comic for you all. It sucks horrible, and the joke is even worse. But.... well fuck you!

Rejoyce, I have returned!

2006-09-05T07:54:00.000+02:00

Kill the neighbors, eat your kids. For I have returned!

Oh, and mystery man has aswell. Bet you're pleased to know that! I'll post some Mega-lame vacation pictures soon.

So...

2006-09-02T15:55:00.000+02:00

It's been a while since anything happened on this blog.

The main reasons? Lack of interest, things that got in the way, lack of inspiration, Lowlands festival, Bastiaan and the Mysterious Person Who Never Posted A Damn Thing being on holiday in Italy, etc.

Anyway, I suppose I'll write something every once in a while. Starting... The heck I don't know. Soon.

Yeah... Soon.

Seether - One Cold Night review.

2006-08-13T19:35:00.000+02:00

You might know these guys, probably from their hit ballad "Broken" with leadsinger's Shaun Morgan's ex-girlfriend Amy Lee (the Evanescence chick). Seether, often dubbed a Nirvana or Staind clone makes a solid statement with their unplugged album "One Cold Night". And that statement is:

"Kurt Cobain and Aaron Lewis, go away. Seether's here. And we rock."

The album opens with a haunting version of "Gasoline", a song which appeared on "Disclaimer I" and "Disclaimer II". The album continues in the same haunting way as it opened. The band often takes the liberty to tinker with some of the songs, as the beautiful opening solo to "Truth" and an absolutely wonderful cover of Pearl Jam's "Immortality".

A pearl of the set has to be the song "Tied My Hands", originally a song from their Saron Gas days, it still sounds really good and keeps the tension and atmosphere.

Absolute heights of "One Cold Night" have to be their performances of "Fine Again" and "Remedy". The former probably being Seether's best song written to date, with the latter (being one of Seether's best rocking songs) sound really good. The acoustic setting gives "Remedy" a sort of melancholic vibe, without losing the anger of it's electric counterpart. "Fine Again" appears to be written for an unplugged concert.

But, unfortunately, there are some, minor, disappointments on the album. "Broken", being the band's greatest hit, was not an absolute neccessity on the album. Although to their credit, it sounds better then the version with Amy Lee. It's still a shame that "Pig" and/or "Fuck It" do not appear on the album, but it seems likely that Shaun tried to refrain himself from screaming.

To conclude: "One Cold Night" is one of the best acoustic albums to be released in recent days. It makes you long back to the times of Alice in Chain's and Nirvana's unplugged releases. I personally also find that Seether finally strips itself from the label of "Nirvana rip-off", although others will most likely disagree.

Final score: 9.0

My own....

2006-08-09T13:38:00.000+02:00

Yeah, so I made this little something. Hope someone likes it, its not Erbie but maybe I´ll try one of those sometime aswell.

Llama of the Week

2006-08-06T21:14:00.000+02:00

War On Terrorism® leads to Fascism

2006-08-06T20:34:00.000+02:00

This will be one angry log. I'm angry, like every rational and intelligent person should be. The whole "War on Terror" has gone way to fucking far. Instead of preventing terrorism it has only polarized and increased the chances on terrorism.

The fucking funny thing is that you can't fight terrorism, terrorism isn't a nation. There isn't a nation where all single motherfucking terrorists in the world hang out. It would be handy if there were a "Terrorististan", but that just isn't the fucking case.

Terrorist acts are always performed by a small group of individuals who, unless they're shit terrorists, perform in utmost secrecy. Nobody knows about their plans or even their fucking existence until they strike.

But the War on Terror goes on, destroying as many annoying dictators in it's path as possible. While all the fucking dipshit governments in the enlightened Western World take "preventive measures" to increase their contr... I mean, the security of their citizens. In a poll taking last year over here in the Netherlands, about 61% of the Dutch would trade in their liberties for more security.

That's no longer destroying democracy, it's giving it away. It's also possible for the police to ask you for your ID for no real reason, you always have to carry it with you, camera's are being placed everywhere and it's now officially easier for our nation's security service to tap your phone. You know those nice sites and companies that require your personal information? Those sites and companies can be asked (as in: forced) to give all information about you to the government for the sake of 'national security'.

Civil liberties are going down the drain, and nobody seems to care. Is everybody sleeping? Does nobody give a flying fuck that your government can check your whole life if they please? Something needs to be fucking done. Things need to change.

Fuck terrorism, shit happens. Don't anger the fundamentalists, stop the polarization between West and East, between European/American and Everything-That-Is-Not-One-Of-Those-Two because that's what causes terrorism.

Stop the bullshit wars on terrorism. America got bombed, Madrid and London got bombed because Europe is America's buttbuddy. Let Bush fight his own fucking wars. He never been into one. Give that idiot a gun and drop him in some Middle-Eastern desert. This ain't our fucking war.

It's all going down the fucking drain. It's all slowly changing into police states.

Update. [And a special Erbie the Emo!]

2006-08-05T19:17:00.000+02:00

Yeah, not much happened the past few days. Bastiaan had an idea for an article, doesn't know what happened to it. It probably died or something. That buttface Robert still has to post his frigging first article and me, I'm just having a writersblock. Yeah, it happens. Not even the slightest emo-joke. Sucks to be us.

Anyway. Tonight we're having a party at Little B's (Bastiaan; for all you non-existing readers), because of his birthday last wednesday. He's finally an adult. Like me. Robert is still a little kid. Serves the bitch right.

Anyway, I'm gonna take my photocamera to the party, so expect some drunken pictures (perhaps even video material) from the whole gang.

Yeah, it's gonna rock. We love booze. We love llama's. (But not in a sexual way, you beastiality pornlover)

Anyway, I'm gone. We'll have updates soon.

This adventure of Erbie The Emo was created by the lovely Saskia. Thanks Saskia!

Songs that suck on albums that obviously do not suck.

2006-08-01T14:28:00.000+02:00

Everbody knows these kind of albums. A classic album, full of brilliant/innovating/catchy/interesting/powerful songs, except for one (or two). Those songs you always skip when listening to that particular album.

Of course there are albums out there that don't suck at all, from the first song to the closing tune, but those are rare. We'll take a look into albums that give you an instant or/eargasm, except for one or two songs that'll make your balls shrink.

System of a Down - Toxicity

Everybody's favourite Armenian-American progrockers/metalheads/something released their most famous album Toxicity in 2000. Powered by the erection-causing powerhouse song Chop Suey! it quickly went on to sell 6.5 million copies worldwide. A funny trivia: it was the number 1 album in America on 9/11. It's length is somewhere between 40 - 44 minutes long (depending if your version has the track Johnny on it) and features 14-15 songs (once again, depending on the bonustrack Johnny)

The album, on a whole, is an alternative metal (that's the label I myself give it) classic and six years after it release still an album to be listened regularly. I even go as far to say that it's one of the best albums of the last ten years.

One song stands out to the others, because it's an annoying and obsolete song. I'm talking about Jet Pilot. Now, it's a known fact that not every SOAD song makes sense, but this one is just plain rubbish. Serj Tankian sounds like someone is threatening to kick him in the nuts and the overall feeling of the song is not in line with the rest of the album.

I rate Jet Pilot - Absolutely horrible.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way

The Peppers will be the Rolling Stones of our generation. I predict they'll have somewhere around 21 "Farewell Tours" before Anthony Kiedis will get a heartattack while singing the "Give it away!" part of the song Give It Away.

Anyway, the album By The Way being the Peppers' eight studio album was released in 2002 and met mixed reviews (although all reviews were positive, but not all as positive as previous releases) from the press. The opening week of the album was the Peppers' most succesful opening week up to then, although only reaching a number 2 on the Billboard charts.

It featured (among others) the hits Can't Stop and By The Way. It also featured Universually Speaking, which is without a doubt the most boring song of the album. The only song I always skip and the only Pepper song I will hate until I die and beyond. (Although I won't be really aware of the fact that I still hate it, seeing as I will be dead) The whiney vocals and the annoying videoclip almost made me give up on the Peppers.

I rate Universally Speaking - An absolute disgrace to the Peppers.

Nickelback - The State

I won't go as far as to claim that Nickelback (or The State for that matter) is classic or brilliant, but the Canadian farmerboys deserve more credit for this album then they get. I'm willing to defend their albums Curb and The State, but anyone who's willing to bash their subsequent releases gets the green light from me. (The subsequent releases being Silver Side Up, The Long Road and All The Right Reasons)

The State has this Alice In Chains feeling, yet being less dark and the lyrics more directly. Many of the songs (as also on the previous album Curb) are downright sarcastic, ironic or cynical. It was released in 2000 and reached gold-status in October 2001.

The most annoying song on the album is, ironically, also the one that powered it to gold-status. I'm speaking of Leader Of Men. Shitty lyrics about Chad saving some wench from a cliff and then marrying her and how he finds it hard to swallow. [editorial note: you didn't had any problems with swallowing your pride and artistic ideas after How You Remind Me, did you Chad?] Unfortunately Leader Of Men is featured TWICE on the album. Being the studio version and an acoustic version.

I rate Leader Of Men - So shitty that even a bull would be ashamed of it. Sadly, it's still better then Nickelback's shipwreck called All The Right Reasons.

Queens of the Stone Age - Rated R

I'm a huge fan of the Queens, so I write this with pain in my heart, but QOTSA's 2000 release Rated R features a song that I absolutely hate. I hate it from here to Tokyo and back. The song's called I Think I Lost My Headache and it's the closing song on a great album. It's like having a party and at the party's climax they're out of booze. A bummer.

I rate I Think I Lost My Headache - So annoying it's giving me a headache.

Erbie the Emo #1

2006-07-30T22:21:00.000+02:00

What's up with suicide hotlines?

2006-07-30T21:59:00.000+02:00

I've been thinking about this for quite a while now, what is up with these suicide hotlines?
I mean, people think 'Ohmigosh, I'm depressed and might hurt myself! Lets call a suicide hotline!' If you think you need help, you arn't suicidal at all. Because if you really wanted to kill yourself, you are not going to call some hippie that is going to try to talk you out of it. (Unless if you want a good laugh before you go.) So why even bother calling then? You end up talking about how crappy this planet is treating you for over 4 hours, when in fact the little lobe in your head that harbours you're will to live is still very much active.

But ofcourse the depressed little assholes still end up calling, probably not even realizing that they are just wasting the €0,80 cents per minute. I pity the social workers that deal with those morons all day long. Not too much ofcourse, because if they actually expected to talk any people out of committing suicide they arn't too bright either.

Here is how I would deal with a 'suicidal' caller:

''Hello this is suicide hotlines, how can I help you?''

''Hi, This is John...... I think I might kill myself!''

"John, what the hell do you want from me? Do you want me to feed you a package of sleeping pills?''

''What? What are you talking about, I'm calling because I need help! I might kill myself!''

''I can't help you, you fucking idiot. What do you expect me to do, we're on the phone. I can't put a knife through the horn and stab you in the head''

''What? You're supposed to talk me out of it!''

''If you want me to talk you out of it, you don't really want to kill yourself. Now do you?''

''Fuck.... So I just wasted 0,80 per minute?''

''Yep.... Cya!''

Llama of the Week

2006-07-30T21:23:00.000+02:00

Because llama's overlooking Machu Picchu are simply kick ass.

Making fun of Vampire Freaks

2006-07-30T19:46:00.000+02:00

VampireFreaks

If MySpace is the refuge of hipsters, emo's and other not-really-into-the-alternative-scene idiots (except the bands, some great bands have MySpaces) then VampireFreaks is the place where self-proclaimed goths, semi-goths and an army of identical I'maselvers hide out.

Of course there's nothing wrong with being a dark, angsty and rather stupid teenager. Of course there's also nothing wrong with listening to good rock/grunge/metal/alternative/stoner/funk/name-your-own-stupid-genre, but when it's starting to take over your life, then you're becoming an idiot.

Let's take an example to analyze.

For Sorrow I Cry

Now, some quotations.

"I live in a world, where people are acting the same as how the sky colors.. Gray"

Perhaps I'm colourblind, but, except for the rainy day it was today, the sky was blue. Way too blue. In fact, not only was it blue. It was hot. Way too hot. Nice work generalizing by the way. Asshole.

"And I know that I'm not like that.."

Self-pretentious asshole. You're claiming you're unique, it almost sounds like you're...

"Likes.

Suzi/Suzi/Suzi
sXe
Love
My Friends
Emo"

Oh, wait. Nevermind then.

"I'm full of uncertainty..especially about myself
But that's no reason to blame my own devastated life on someone else.."

Grow up. How old are you? 15/16/17? Your life is devestated when you have an office job for fourty years, starting to lose your hair and need viagra to 'get busy'. Then your life is devastated. You can also complain if you work in the greenhouses among highschool drop-outs and mentally rather handicapped idiots.

"I smile but that doesn't mean I'm happy"

Thanks for sharing you're a semi-depressed idiot. Please hold a staring contest with a train driver.

"I like everyone that even shows the slightest interest in me..do you? ( I hope so )"

Here you go. Attention and a slight interest from me. But no, I don't like you. You pretentious asshole with too much money to spend on pre-fabricated needs. I blow my nose at you and fart in your general direction.

Although emo/goffic bashing is just as 'jumping the bandwagon' as becoming a goffic or an emo, it's hard not to do it. Especially after browsing a site like VampireFreaks.

The funny thing about VF is, is that they claim to be an answer to the conformity and proclaimed shallowness of the mainstream. But, upon closer inspection, you can easy see that this claim is nothing more then pure hypocrisy. They're sponsored by an online store called Fuck The Mainstream which, in essence, is nothing more then Hot Topic (if you're American) or Large (if you're not American) equivalent for goffics. Ironic, isn't it?

I'll allow them the "Premium Membership" thing, seeing as it's a private site which still needs to pay the bill to the ISP. (Yeah, even goffics must pay the bills) But still, the stench and taint of corruption and mainstream clings to Vampire Freaks.